Wednesday 20 June 2012

New b....Dead

  "Happy birthday" They said. They cheered. Their wishes were good, said loud, that meant they were getting closer to God and they would come true quickly, didn't it?
  She felt blessed. She felt lucky. All of a sudden, she felt tired, worn out, ripped out of her soul. She felt pain out of her disability to stand for showing her gratitude to the present people. She fell on her bed. She closed her eyes. Wait! Hadn't she got older? Isn't sleeping, a childhood-related habit? She should have been awake thinking about the past year's sins and great events, she shouldn't have been asleep, should she?
  What?! It is her nature? She is a child? She will never get old? What? You call it "Soul's purity"? Ha! She was asleep! In the middle of the day. Could you hear that? Azan. Why wasn't she off bed to pray God for a whole year had passed with a soul in her body, a breath blowing her chest. a quake shaking her heart, a flood of blood streaming in her veins? She was a saint? She was off bed, prayed already? Why? Yes! I am serious. Why was she off bed to pray? She had to? Wait! She didn't think about how much gratitude she had to show to her God in that moment? She hadn't count her steps? Watching her toes touching the ground then laying her ankle softly like a ballerina drifting? She hasn't wondered at her mother's musical voice calling her name? She hadn't burst out laughing when she heard her dad's joke? She hadn't embraced her sister? She hadn't played with her brother?
  She stood up right, sweat running on her cheeks, she went to wash it with blurry sight, nearly closed eyes. She was back again in her room. She turned the fan on. Then, the light kept flashing, electric current was going off?! She said "Damn it! I am a bad luck owner." She forced herself to the bed, under the covers. Wait! She hadn't smiled? She hadn't felt the softness of the pillow on her cheek and how it was flirting her so she would smile? She wasn't......satisfied?! She had joyful day, didn't she? That flashing light is the reason why?!
  Oh! The current kept coming and going. The fan was giving weird noise. She got furious she sat in angry manner, when.....when.....when the fan's blades came across her neck. She bleeds? She is bleeding! Someone, help. Is she screaming? No! No voice. Apparently she is not even trying. Is she surrendering to the pain? Is she already dead? So, why is that body shaking nonstop? Wait! Can you see that? That scene?! Come closer, listen:
Hey! Oh! Oh my God! I am bleeding! What?! How am I looking to myself while I am bleeding? No mirror in this direction. *Tearing* What's going on? *airless breaths* Why can't I hear my breath? What's all that blood? Where is my family? No, no. Focus. I am bleeding! God......Oh......No! No No No Dear God Please not that end. I have to get to that body again. Let me in. Let me in. *Terror* * Unrest eye rolls* I am letting my arm in, why isn't my body absorbing me in? The body is shaking between my hands. More blood to see. Oh No! God! Please! I beg you. My only wish! My birthday wish! Make me survive just for another day.
*Shouting at her body* You! Hey! You! Let me in, I say. You stupid being let me in, let me in, save me time, do me a favor, let me in, idiot. *Screaming* *Crying* Save me! I am crying over myself. Why don't you stop?! Why do you look so pale? No smile on my body? May be I will live. Yes, I am optimistic I will live.
What is this? The body is getting away. Oh! No! God please let me be here. No, please, not now. *Breathless cry*
*Mother entered the room screamed and fainted, the father looked at the scene his feet vibrated back and forth, right and left, lost destination of what to do, where he should go ahead. He ran out of the room for calling an ambulance. The sister, the little one, entered, screamed "No! No! Not my sister. No way." She ran to the body putting her hand on the cut which flooding out blood, she screams at the weird feeling she got when she touched the blood, the cut gap. She stepped back then gave a loud courage cry with more tears, heading her hands to stop the bleed. The brother entered fell on his knees, he saw the fainted mother, then an eye noticed his sister act like a fireman trying to put off the... explosion. He took her from the waist and his hands on her eyes.*
So....I am dead? I am a ghost? *Force pulls her to above* No, no. *The ghost holds on the body making it quaking again.* Mum! you love me. Wake up and take me back in this body. Sister, good job keep going on, my doctor. Brother, let dad quick, I am flying away. People! I am still here. Not dead. Why are you letting me go? Why is this force pulling me stronger? It should have been my birthday. I supposed to be a new born by that day. Think?! It is too late to think. I am in a panic.I .....a.....m.........*The ghost faded.*


  Relatives, friends, colleagues are all dressed well in black. Haven't they thought of, if this was their own funeral? Stepped into the mosque imagining their body in that coffin? I mean if they can't tear for her death, they can weep for theirs. The sister, the shorty, looked at each person coming across her, kissing her on the forehead, petting on her back, smiling at her face, and she was simply in no need for all of that. She actually was dreaming of someone to take her hand, sits her kindly by his/her side, gets the Qur'an and reads with her some verses so, she would feel...the surroundings, else than this all those audience are nothing to her but ghosts.
  Hey! Here is the enemies showed up. Miserably broken?! Oh my God, they are in psychological shock! I thought they would be happy. They were actually sad cause of the death of a black core in their heart, crying over a chance of purity washing out their dark hating hearts.
  Finally, the girl's friends. How happy she would be now! Oh! that's so horrible. How could she deal with such friends? Those couple chatting over there, the two with their hands on there mouths, with the pale faces. Yeah! I know. They look pretty sad for her loss but actually you didn't overheard their talk "She used to wear tight clothes. I used to advice her. I am feeling so guilty towards her." The other: "I told her several times not to talk about others. I am feeling guilty too." Don't you think both need applause? They do deserve it, really. They acted like Oscar-winners. The first used to talk about her behind her back during her living but she never faced her with that kind of truth, she had never advised her. The other was the one who never shuts the hell up, talking over and over again about people's flaws, the girl joined her as kind of sarcasm but she didn't like how the talk sounded and now she is blamed -after her death- that she was smiling at such talks, not only this, but out of the blue she is the one who used to start such talks. What about laughing now?
You are missing it, aren't you? You're still focusing on how stories can flip, how the girl died, how the people reacted, aren't you? Come'on! Yes! You missed it. You miss this story hero. The little sister? Nah. The mother? Nop. The girl herself? No. The hero, people,.....death. The only spotlight is on it. The only talk is about it. What? You answered with "deeds"? No I seriously mean death. Even deeds between this man's hands are just.....space. The girl is gone. I'm gone. You're gone. Each one is gone on his own way, towards his/her own destiny, different shores, many floods, some break you, some throw you to a new shore, some just drown you.

Monday 11 June 2012

Friendship Means....

Isn't friendship like bonds made of different fabrics?
 
Some made of Gold but you can't always walk around wearing it, due to the fear of being it stolen, so you throw it in your drawer (Mistreating dear friends not on purpose). 
Some made of metal, has hideous look but you are forced to be with and by time you will like it cause with it you are secured (People who pop up into your life, out of the blue, you get freaked at but then you find their fine core). 
Some made of thorn, has nice adore, with beautiful flower but having it around your wrist can't give you a break off bleeding (People who hurt you but you can't let them go cause they are what you're looking up to be). 
Some made of wool, you can't feel their existence but when you feel you're out of jewelry, you find it still there, decorating you & you're happy having it. (People who loved you, never worked hard to scar your life, never showed off their missions that saved you and still you accidentally don't appreciate them.)

Friendship means a part of your appearance, rarely when it means part of your character, nearly impossible part of your heart & unfortunately fictional to be part of your fate. 





Saturday 9 June 2012

Failure Of A Hater

I want to be the invisible stinger bee
I want to be the unknown warrior at your defeat
I want to be the secret golden key
Unlock your brain, the intentions you seek
To expect your slaps with no surprise
Like a fortuneteller in disguise
I want to have your vision to follow your glance
I want to have your force of grabbing the chance
I want to have your stony heart
I want to study your immortal chant
I want to be your competitive hater
But I ended up as a cherishing respecter





Monday 4 June 2012

She Is Not Dumb

Marilyn Monroe is not dumb as many had declared. Her quotes makes me deny that.

Her Quotes Directed To Girls:  


Her Quotes About Life:




 I am not saying she is a role model, but I found out that her words express what a lot of girls want to hear and what most of us need to know.
















Sunday 3 June 2012

Walking On Water, Drowning Down

I am the girl who walks on water and drown down hard
I am your colorful crayons for your black and white chart

I am the voice who will sing your plain note
I am also the concrete sculpture that you shove

I am your fire in the sunny hot days
I am your sandy hill in the greenish hays

I am the dark sky surrounding your sparkly star
I am everything that you don't need so far