Friday 28 December 2012

Mysterious.....

  One, two, three, four..... Ops, I am losing it. Count again. One, two, three,......, eleven, twelve,....., hundred twenty,....., thousand. Ops, I lost it again! Whatever! Generalize. It seems everyone is like that, wants to be identically that. Everyone wants to be....."mysterious." Sh, that's a secret. Yeah, it's common and seems like human nature, but play along and act as if it's a "secret." It's part of being mysterious too, don't you think?


  Oh, you thought I tried to be funny at the counting part? I am ridiculous, but not to that extent, I think. I did really count how many people want to, love to act mysteriously. I think as much their intention to be mysterious is intense as it's obvious to be falsely and naively -add foolishly- mysterious. 

  People who want to be mysterious are...... (Lonely, undignified, hurt, lost). Their aim is to be...... (unpredictable, respected, feared of, cool). Come on. Choose. Answer!

You don't want to answer, right? You're afraid someone would take your answer as being "pathetic." You just act "cool" and say that type of people is "weird" with that curled lips, turn your face away which means you're not mysterious either, at all.

  We all had times when we were lonely. Even if you were never left alone, you dragged yourself away from the crowd for a while. The noise of how many people around you, forces you to lock yourself up in a calm room where the only voice you can hear is yours. That's when you learnt the necessity to teach people around you that even if you seem alone, you're still cool. So, you went ahead as the mysterious Holmes.

  We all suffered from being undignified. Friends, parents, teachers, whoever in your life had played a part to suffer from scratched dignity. That's when you learnt the necessity to be unpredictable, so people wouldn't go at you with their should and shouldn't, break your plans to pieces, make your wittiness unclean rag. So, you went ahead as the mysterious Holmes.
  We ALL have been hurt. Yeah, I stressed at "all" this time, cause I am sure of it. Some are hurt for serious dramatic reasons, others are hurt for silly ones, it differs from one person to another -according to the applied conditions-. Well, I've just noticed that it doesn't differ from "undignified" much. It's just being your dignity hurt is intentionally mean & somehow expected, but being generally "hurt" means shocked & unbelievable as it's from someone whom you thought of as the center of your universe. That's when you learnt the necessity to be feared of. To be the boss whose frown may make everyone wish to die. So, you went ahead as the mysterious Holmes.
  We all felt lost. This time I say, EVERY NOW AND THEN, we feel so. People feel, it is a chance to do a good deed and they run to you offering all......shallow advice. That's when you learnt the necessity to be respected that however you seem lost, your decisions and your smartness must be taken seriously and given unlimited time to show up. So, you went ahead as the mysterious Holmes.

  My friends tried to be mysterious. They had it as an aim. That's how I reached this deduction, may be I am wrong, but if they were really mysterious with no fake-acting thing going on, I'd have never had a chance to feel a thing. 
  Stop! Question: how can I judge someone as being mysterious? I actually found out that they would make me lost. It's not by being moody, but by their flexibility, variation, stability and criticism. You think mysterious people are silent, I see them talkative and interactive, cause they have a lot to say and they are very picky to find the right time, the right place and the right people to let it shine. And because, all those factors take so long time to be found, the ideas and the outstanding concepts grow in their brains till it develop as an automatic answer, that's why -I guess- mysterious people always say what impresses you in a calm tune and within no time.

  I am not a psychiatrist to set theories. I am not 100 year-old to be knowledgeable about different types of people. I am not a person with million novels in her library. I am sure the majority of what I said would be wrong, but I can't skip the fact that it can be true to a minority.

  

Monday 10 December 2012

ايها السوًاق


عزيزى المواطن (transporter عصرك)
                                                    تحية ....طيبة و بعد
 مجرد كونى بنت مش معناه أن قدراتى "تستحيل" ان تصل لقدراتك "الخارقة" فى السواقة. أنا بسوق مرعوبة من تعليق سخيف زى "انتوا بتسوقوا ليه؟" أكتر من خوفى انًى اطيًر حد فى سكتى. زى ما مفيش بنات بتعرف تسوق/تركن عدِل، مش حلقات "سابق و لاحق" اللى خلتك "super سواق" بالفِطرة!

عايزة افكرك بشىء صغير: اللورى أو الباص اللى اداك أول خبطة، اللى بيسوقها مكنتش ست! المشروع اللى عشان خاطر عيونه اتعلمت أقبحها الفاظ، مش ست اللى بتسوقه. العربية العدمانة اللى ماشية على مهلها تفتكرها ست، تطلع راجل عجوز بيطلًع فى الروح.
حتى البنات/السيدات اللى سواقتها على أدًها و أنا ممكن (ده لو مش أكيد) منهم، خوفهم أنهم يدوسوا حد أو يخوشوا فى عربية، هو اللى خلًى نسبة الحوادث أكثرها انتوا كرجال مَن يرتكبها. و مش كل بنت عندها سوًاق و مش كل أب فاضى 24 ساعة عشان يوصًل بنتهُ و مش كل سيدة لديها رجل يصلها حيثما ارادت، فمن الممكن أن تكون أرملة/ يتيمة/ بعضهن يتخذوها كوسيلة لكسب الرزق (توصيل طلبة المدارس). أنتَ شخصياً ساعات تبقى مش مركٍز عشان قلق امتحان أو ضغوط عمل أو تعرقل حياتك الإجتماعية أو حالة وفاة أو إذ فجأةً مرضت، زى ما من المحتمل يحصلك كل ده، ممكن يحصل لغيرك إذا كان رجل او امرأة.
على أى حال ده فكر مجتمع و مقدرش ألومك على ضعفك إنك تتعدى كونك شرقى عنصرى. :) 

Meet The Little Patriot

  I was looking at the human being in the mirror, and actually I found nothing. Yes, Michael Jackson had lied to me. :P So, I deduced, I was a phantom. 
  I decided to go around like a ghost, causing mess, getting all the old dusty things out of the drawers, till I found an old copybook. I let the pages run between my fingertips and had those Harry-Potter moments, when you see the little you within the 
flipping papers and the fuming dust was nothing but spread perfume, that lovely odor of the past.
  I found the little me talking. No, the discussion wasn't addressed to me, cause actually the words, which had been said, ran out of my mouth on one of those days, in one of those discussions I used to open with my parents when it came to studying National Subjects, when I was the shorty patriot, when my parents used to look at me and have that breath of confidence "we brought up -like they say- a good citizen." That little person used to say: "That's my land. I have rights. I have commitments too. I am free to express myself the way I want. I have the right to choose the route which I see as being the best for me. I have the commitment to help someone who needs my knowledge to let him live as well as I do. Being a girl can never be an obstacle. Being young can never be a block. If someone will stand in my way while I'm working for the sake of my country, I'll defend my dream and fight."
  To be honest, meeting such personality made my respiratory system a perfect model for a chimney, made my thoughts like a roller coaster running on the grooves of my brain, made my throat cuffed, made my soul shiver. 
All in all, she made my world spine. I was like "if that was me in the past. The little me. The one whose ideas were naive, illogical. Who is that coward saying 'I wanna be off this land as soon as possible'? Who is that person who is shamelessly retreating?"

Hey, I've my own conditions, right?
The question is: if I had the chance to travel to Somalia, would I disagree? No, I'll agree of course! Why? Cause I believe in my mission. Why? Cause I am an Arab and I have to help. Why? Cause my religion says so. Why? Cause humanity forces me to be what I was created to be....a human. Then, out of the blue, comedy fat structure -woman- appeared in that loud -شرشحة- tune saying "اللى يعوزو البيت يحرم على الجامع." 
  Patriotism is perfectly fulfilled by an action, but it can be beautifully and simply done by knowledge to armor its existence. It doesn't have to be about participation in protests. It can simply be self-educating about politics -in case you were that interested- and inspire youth. Old people have their opinion already formed, STONED, unchangeable. Of course, such stony heads are wrong to be like that, but that's how our environment, our negativity, self-denial, immutability, despair and our...."education" built those people. We've to save the youth (yes, we're young, but I consider what we went through, manned us up, made us older than our history books, made our hope as ashy as burnt Roman corpse, so.....we've to protect who is younger), cause those are our partners who will be surviving with us till the end. If we let the "old" shape them as they were originally "hypnotized," we still would be talking to the wall then turn around to throw the blame on the one in the mirror!


  I know you may reached, miraculously, this very paragraph out of boredom, may be I am not making sense, may be my vision is toddler's, but such chronic thoughts might kill me if I didn't kicked them out. :D